Back from holiday!

I've returned!!!!


I went camping in Cornwall and lived to tell you all about it.


This morning, when I woke up, I did wonder whether it had all just been a really really bad nightmare. But then I rolled over and felt that stiffness you get after spending several days on an airbed in sub-zero temperatures, and realised that it must have actually been real. (I've found that airbeds at room temperature have a completely different effect on my...erm...intercostal muscles (?!) than airbeds in freezing tents).


I know that I am prone to exaggeration, but the sub-zero thing isn't an exaggeration. At all. There was a frost one morning, which means that it must have gotten cold enough during the night to freeze the water, which means that it must have been below zero because thats when water freezes.

Mmmhmm... I know my stuff.



Obviously I didn't know that it was sub zero at the time, but I did know it was cold because Joy's teeth were chattering really loudly and keeping me awake. Also, I felt the need to close up my sleeping bag completely (it's one of those 'mummy bags' that can close so that you just have a little air hold to breathe through), and thats really not like me, because normally when I do that I get claustraphobic and start lashing out, and it annoys the people I'm sharing a tent with.


Anyway. Enough about the coldness. I'll move on to the wetness now.

We were there for 4 days. It rained the whole time minus 2 hours when the sun made a brief appearance. There were a few thunder storms, and we had 29mph winds, which is bad news when you're in a tent. =/

So anyway, eventually we decided we needed a bit of fun, so we went to the cinema to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3. I had actually already seen it, but it was quite funny, and better than sitting in a puddle, so I joined them. I was planning to shout things like, 'Don't worry, he's not really dead', and repeatedly sing 'I know how it ends! I know how it ends! I know how it ends!' in a really irritatingly childish voice.

I didn't do either of those things though, because as soon as we sat down, one of my cousins tapped the (slightly chubby) boy sitting in front of her on the shoulder and asked him for some popcorn. He grudgingly handed her one piece, and she took it, looked slightly annoyed, and then said, 'Is that all you're going to give me?! You've got loads!'.

It was really embarrassing.

So after that, I kept quiet to avoid drawing attention to myself in case people saw a family likeness...

That has got to be the most quaint cinema I've ever been to. There was a huge sign up outside, saying 'Now with FIVE screens!!!'. Our local cinema has 14.

When we got inside the cinema, it was tiny. There were only about 70 seats in the screen we were in, and it had stale, musty smell, that I assumed was coming from the weird, retro carpet (think Del Boy meets Flash Gordon).

A few minutes after we sat down on the rickety chairs, the trailers started, except there was no sound. Everyboys craned round to look through the little window at the back, to see the guy who was doing the projector. He looked around for a bit, found the volume knob, and turned it up.

After the final trailer, we were all expecting to see the copyright warning, but the screen went red and classical music started playing. Everyone looked at the projector guy again, who was frantically trying to change the film reels in the projector. Eventually he got it in, stopped Mozart, hit play.

We had sound first go this time, except the screen was blurry. We turned around again and saw him fiddling around, trying to get in focus. Through the first 5 mins of the film, it was still shifting in and out of focus, as he tried to get things figured out. In the end, he must've thought, 'Oh, screw it... thats good enough', because he just left it.

Pirates 3 is a very long film. At the end, everyone was stumbling around on the stairs, because our eyes had gone crazy after staring at an out of focus screen for so long.

Humph.

And when I told my Dad the story, he accused me of being like an American Tourist, which was an unnecessarily strong insult, in my opinion. I know that Cornwall isn't exactly the most high tech place in the UK, but they could at least teach the film-projector-operator-guy how it works, before they let him loose on it...