A.I

Nope, not Artificial Intelligence, or even American Intelligence as I once thought, but Artificial Insemination.
We have finally finished the whole GCSE Biology sylabus. And we definitely went out with a bang.

I don't understand why all the animal rights activists in the class made a huge fuss about stem cell research in animals, and transgenic animals, and when it comes to the artificial insemination of cows they just sit back and listen. I personally think that its abusing the cows.

I mean, the Bulls probably thoroughly enjoy their role in the process, but does anybody ask the cow whether it would like to be a surrogate mother?! Nope. Does anybody ask the cow before shooting some semen up its... erm... you get the idea.

Also, I think the cows may feel a bit self conscious about the herdsmen watching them for oestrous behaviour. It must feel like big brother. If a cow wants to mount one of its friends, I believe that it should be able to do so without having a clipboard wielding herdsman taking notes. It should at least be a herdswoman.

Anyway, we started discussing oestrous behaviour in the lesson, and tried to work out whether it effects humans in the same way it effects cattle and various other mammals. People started sharing their experiences of oestrous behaviour, and the experiences of oestrous behavious in people they know.
Then we heard a noise, and realised the door to the prep room was open. There was a man in there fixing the photocopier.
I spose it was one of the most enlightening calls he got that day.
He now knows that my Biology teacher's friend gets a bit sexed up when she's ovulating.

Anyway, we researched it on the internet, and I realised, to my surprise and disappointment, that nobody has really researched oestrous behaviour in females. If they have, then they didn't think of sharing their findings with the rest of the Internet community. Which is a bit selfish if you ask me...
So anyway, I'm conducting my own experiment, which will quite possibly one day win me the Nobel Prize. I need some volunteers, and because of the nature of this experiment, not many people are taking this seriously, or offering to help me out. So if you can give me a hand, please e-mail me using the link in my profile.

And for those girls who are already part of the experiment:
"One small step for women, one giant leap for womankind."

(Coz this is at least as major as the moon landings. Which, incidentally, were filmed in the studio where Elvis is living - still alive and well...)