Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Yo, Sista

At school today we were all told we had to be in school for last lesson, which didn't go down well, as Wednesday last lesson is a free for most people.
It was even worse when word got around that the reason we had to be in was for a talk on safe sex. I mean, it's a Catholic school, so for years, they haven't spoken to us about sex, because
a) we shouldn't be doing it until we are married, and
b) we shouldn't use contraception.
so there's not really anything they can teach us about it. (Except, as one girl pointed out, technique, but that would be unprofessional, peverse, and possibly illegal?).

Also, as most of us are 18 now, everyone who wants to do it has, and everyone who doesn't want to do it doesn't need to know. And we all already know anyway. Talk about shutting the door after the horse has bolted.

The teachers suspected that a lot of us would try to 'forget' about the session, if possible. So Sister Margaret went around at lunch time to remind us about it. We then started chatting about other things... like how we're doing with our lenten promises etc... and as she turned to leave, I called after her, 'Oh, sister, is this safe sex thing compulsory?'
She turned around with a mock-horrified expression on her face, and said, 'Of course it is, Anna! Safe sex is always compulsory, and never let anybody convince you otherwise!'

(I'd like to specify that this is a nun with a sense of humour. We go way back. She will never stop seeing me as the innocent little girl that used to swing on my chair at the back of maths, and get in trouble for talking too much and hugging people when I was meant to be listening. She does not, therefore, think of me as sexually active, and probably never will).

It turned out that the session was called SAVE sex, and not SAFE sex, which was what had caused the confusion.

It was surprisingly not religious, although it would probably have been better received if the boy presenting it had looked as though he was abstaining from sex through choice, and not through necessity. I know that sounds a bit mean, but he was a real nerd. And not in an cute way.

The session began with us shouting the word 'sex' as loud as we could, to break the ice. (Because, obviously, 18 year olds aren't used to talking about sex).
I didn't join in with as much enthusiasm as I'd have liked, because, you know, Sister Margaret was there, so I was trying to look like I didn't know what sex was.
Which, looking back, was kinda stupid, because she knows I do A Level Biology.

Anyway, did you know that if you're between the ages of 16 and 21, and sexually active, but you always use a condom, and you have a normal amount of sex (whatever that is) for a year, you have a 16% chance of getting pregnant. WHAT?!?!?!?! I thought they were, like, 98% effective? (Though according to Malikah, it's possible for them to be 98% effective and still have a 16% chance of getting pregnant. This is why I don't do maths. Perhaps I should ask Sister Margaret to explain?)

16% is rather high. And there's a much higher chance of getting an STD. Ew. EW.
So the Government is no longer calling it 'safe sex'; it's now 'safer sex'.
'nuff said.
Don't do it kids.


By the way, I went to see Juno a few weeks ago.
It's AMAZING. Possibly one of my new favourite films EVER.
And it's about a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant because she has sex with her tic-tac loving best friend in an Only-Fools-And-Horses-Type-Armchair because they get bored.
I went to see it, because apparently it's meant to be a good representation of my generation's values and general outlook on life.
I think it's really accurate. (At first, I resented the bit about having sex our of boredom, rather than, oh, I don't know...curiosity, but after today's sex talk, I think that may have been more accurate than I thought.)
Plus, I am convinced that Indie films are the way to go, and this one has an amazing sound track thrown in for good measure. And a cast you will fall in love with.
Go see it! =)