Friday, September 28, 2007

...and I don't even eat cheese!

I had a very vivid dream last night, which is not particularly unusual....

However, I killed someone in the dream, which has never happened before.

To be honest, he started it. He was one of those Spanish men with swords who used to go around challenging people to duels, in like, the 1800s or whenever it was. 'Three Musketeers' style.

He didn't even challenge me, he just got his sword out and started, kinda like Johnny Depp in Pirates. The duel lasted quite a long time. We were in my kitchen, and I was standing on a chair, and he was on the floor, so I had the advantage of height, but the handicap of not being able to take a step either backwards or to the side (otherwise I would have fallen off the chair).

I kept on lunging and thrusting and whatever else it is you do in sword fights. We were quite equal when it came to skills, so it went on and on with not much progress, until eventually, I got a bit fed up (I distinctly remember feeling bored, and wishing he'd hurry up and die, because I was quite busy and had a lot to do), so started to put more effort in, and I managed to get my sword quite far into his right arm, which meant he had to switch his sword to his left arm, which was a lot weaker, and he couldn't block himself so well, so I stuck my sword in him a bit more, and he collapsed and ended up kinda sprawled across the kitchen floor.

I jumped down off the chair, and walked over to him, and he seemed to be twitching a bit, so I could tell he wasn't dead. I didn't want to get too close, in case he was just playing dead so I'd come near enough for him to skewer me on his sword.

Then, after that, it gets a bit hazy.

I think that he came round a bit and muttered something about me doing the honourable thing and killing him to put him out of his misery, but I'm not sure whether my conscious added that part after I woke up, so that my subconscious didn't seem so brutal. Either way, I picked up his sword and killed him with it.

Then I woke up, and thought, '.....I am such a loon....'


It probably says something about me.
Something along the lines of me (or at least, my subconscious) being profoundly, and possibly irreversably, screwed up.

When I told my immediate neighbours during registration, Debbie said, helpfully, that she'd read something about meanings of dreams, and that if you dream you've killed someone, it is symbolic of something far less sinister than actual murder, or even death. Unhelpfully, she couldn't remember what it was.
Phelan, on the other hand, seemed both impressed and pleasantly surprised. She's always dreaming about killing people, in ways far more gruesome than that, and apparently she didn't think I had it in me.

Fortunately, I stopped believing that dreams bear any relation to real life long ago.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Hey there Delilah

I can't get enough of this song at the moment!




Watch out for the Plain White T's!

They deserve to be HUGE! =)

Ben & Jerry

Towards the end of the summer holidays, I had a lot of time on my hands.

It's true what they say about idle hands, and about the 'youth of today' developing bad habits during the long summer break....sex drugs, rock & roll.....binge drinking.....

Well, I'd just like to say that none of us are infallible.

'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone', and all that.
I yielded to temptation. I put up a good fight, but unfortunately some people are just too practiced in the art of sedcution, and we all have to succumb to the carnal pleasure at some point.
I think you know all who I'm talking about.

Yep, that's right. Ben and Jerry. And their sumptuous cookie dough ice cream.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm.......... =)

To cut a long story short, I developed an addiction to it. In a stunning act of self control and determination, I tried to fight the desire by eating half a jar of stuffed olives, but it just left me with an even stronger yearning for the ice cream, and a slightly queasy feeling in my stomach.

So I gave in. Again.

I gained half a stone in a month, and I'm dead serious about that. I've been exactly the same weight, give or take a kilogram, since I was 13. I reached my all time heaviest during this blip. I've lost most of it now, what with starting school again, and all the running around like a headless chicken trying to meet deadlines....but still, let that be a lesson to you.

I was clearing off my desk for the start of the new school year, and amongst the debris were the remains of my sweet summer fling with Ben and Jerry (both of them. I know, shocking).

Then a photo opportunity came to mind:
We didn't name them Ben & Jerry for nothing!
You may notice that they aren't licking out the cookie dough ones...
I'm afraid I relapsed. I wanted to lick them out myself!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Edinburgh!

I went to the Edinburgh University open day on Friday!

It's the only time I've ever been to Edinburgh, and it really is a stunning city, with loads of beautiful old buildings, and the people are really lovely (if a little hard to understand). Also, being a 'city of literature', you can do tours of all the places of literary importance, and even do a literary pub crawl (not sure how that works...).

The thing is, I found out that there are 29 applicants for every place on the English course, so the chances are, I will never live there, but I'd like to go back on holiday! =)

In the coach on the way back home (it's a long way!) I came up with some really good inventions that will earn me millions, so I won't need to go to University after all. Or if I choose to go anyway, just to pass the time, the fees shouldn't be a problem.

You know how when you get shampoo and conditioner, they come in bottles that are the same size, even though you tend to need more conditioner than shampoo? Well, I think that they should sell the conditioner in a bigger bottle than the shampoo. Because that solves the problem of having a quarter of a bottle of shampoo left over, when you're already having to balance the conditioner upside down, and slap it to get anything out.
Especially since I have a thing about standing bottles upside down. I don't know why, but it just feels unnatural, and wrong somehow. The only time I can justify it is when it's those ketchup bottles that are meant to be upside down. Do you know the ones I mean? They have a really big lid at the bottom, to make a large, stable base, and the top is pointy, so you couldn't put it the other way around even if you wanted to.

.....I digress.

My other invention is muffin coated blueberries. Just because.