This might actually make you cry...

I think it's the song that does it..... ='(

(Though the retro hairstyles from the early episodes may turn your tears of sadness into tears of mirth.)

Starting the Heatwave Early

Today it was a whopping 18C.

I know it sometimes feels like I only ever talk about the weather on this blog, and some of you may be thinking, 'If you can't think of anything interesting to say, don't post. Don't just talk about the weather'. But seriously, the weather is very interesting at the moment.

Plus, I'm English. I was practically brought up to talk about the weather. It's what we do.

Also, when the population of the whole planet is wiped out because of all this global warming, and aliens more suited to living in hot/flooded climate move here, they can check out my blog and work out what happened.

I'll be famous.

They will print all this out, and make it into a history textbook.

Though, to be honest, I've never particularly had a burning desire to write a history textbook.

And I kinda hope that this blog is too interesting to be a history textbook.

Anyway, today, when I went shopping, I saw:

A long queue of people by the ice cream vans

Lots of people wearing sunglasses

Some people in shorts

People in vest tops/boob tubes/topless etc. (The topless people were boys, and the people in boob tubes were girls. Just in case you were wondering...)

Loads of people in t-shirts

A few people wearing coats (but those were the goths who wear coats all summer to avoid getting a tan...)

Which basically means that it's summer.

And if you don't find that evidence conclusive, I've been craving fruit all day.

'nuff said.

So.... surely starting summer in March could have some serious implications...?!

I've decided not to care though.

You shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth (or something like that).

I'm bored of winter. It's been winter for ages, and I'm over it. I want something new now.

Bring on summer!

This is a picture of Jack Johnson surfing. Which, I thought, would be a good way to illustrate summer.

BST

So, the clocks have changed.

I hate it when we change back to summer time. The whole 'losing an hour' thing really doesn't sit well with me.

It's like having jet lag, but without the holiday. =(

Also, I know it's possible to go on the internet, and have loads of time pass without even noticing, and then afterwards you feel really bad, because those were hours of your life that you have nothing to show for, and that you'll never get back.

But technically, you were doing something during those hours.

But when the clocks change, you lose the hour without it even being your fault.

So far in my life, I've lost 17 hours.

I know that we get the hour back later in the year when we change the clocks again, but it all seems like a bit of a dodgy deal to me.

And on top of the dodginess(?!) of it all, it's really confusing.

I'm not a morning person. Loads of people arent good at mornings. So when you wake up, and try to get your eyes to focus on the clock, you have to try and figure out whether you're:

a) An hour late

b) Can sleep for another hour.

c) Awake in time.

Which just shouldn't happen. Nobody should have to make decisions like that first thing in the morning.

I was actually OK today. Fortunately, I only live a 5 minute jog from church.

In fact, now that I think about it, the only day in the whole year that I wake up on time is the day that we gain an hour. Extra hours can be handy.

Spring! (....boing!)

Today is the official first day of spring!

I thought the first day of spring was on 1st March, but I don't mind being wrong, becaise this way I get to celebrate twice! =)

It's so nice and sunny today.

Like it was last week, the first time I celebrated spring.

The thing is, I have come to realise that the sun is very deceiving, because I stopped wearing Eskimo clothes, and I have now got the worst cough and cold I've had all winter.

Actually, you can't call Eskimos 'Eskimos' anymore, you have to call them 'First People'. Apparently the term 'Eskimo' is no longer politically correct.
Which I think is stupid, because surely calling yourself a 'First People' (or 'First Person'?!) is not politically correct?
I mean, how do they know for sure if they were actually the 'First People'?
And even if they were, is it politically correct to use it to distinguish themselves and make themselves superior to everyone else?

Plus, I don't know what the big deal is about calling them Eskimos, because I'm unlikely to offend them, because I never talk to Eskimos. I prefer to go to warm places on holiday.

Unless....

Hmm....

Maybe some of them have immigrated here.

Oh well.

'First People' is it then.


The definition of 'Politically Correct Terminology' in 'The Cynic's Dictionary' is:
Inadvertently comical euphemisms mandated by committees of humourless adademicians for the purposes of offending no group except believers in free speech.

Example:
Abundantly capitalized individual = Rich Man
Financially challenged individual = Poor Man
Self-employed outdoor monetary solicitor = Beggar Man
Personal-property appropriation specialist = Thief

Joey-isms

Phoebe : Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey : I'd probably kill myself, hey, if little Joey's dead, big Joey ain't got not reason to live.

Hahahahaha......

Thats funny for at least 3 different reasons.


Friends can always turn a bad day into a good day! =)


Unless you watch the last episodes, because then you think about when it ended, and then you want to cry.
There are some other episodes that make you want to cry. Like when Ross and Rachel break up/get back together/break up/nearly get together/get together/nearly break up/break up etc.
Or when Joey falls in love with Rachel, and he can't tell her. But you realise that this is the first time Joey has loved someone that much, and you realise that he's actually got a huge capacity for love even though he is normally just shallow. You realise that he and rachel could actually be amazing together but they could never really try it properly because Ross would be too upset. And you realise that there's no way it can work out without someone getting hurt.

And you realise that that's how love is in real life. Sometimes when you love someone, it's impossible for nobody to get hurt by it, because we're not machines. We are people who were designed to interact with each other, and that our lives are, in fact, intrinsically linked with loads of other peoples lives, whether we want it or not. We don't even have much of a say in whose lives become linked with ours, because it happens subconsciously, and all of a sudden, you realise that there's yet another person who you can't even imagine living without.

Hmmm.

I think I sometimes might get a little bit too attached to fictional characters.


I haven't watched Neighbours for years, because I cried for 3 days when Flick and Joel broke up. (And that was, like, in the late 90s or something. I would have been less than 10 years old).
Reality can be cruel enough. Why do they have to take all our escapisms and make them cruel like real life?
Where are we meant to escape to now?
They will have to start putting escapisms into our escapisms.



Oh well.
At least there are really funny bits in friends, to make up for the really sad bits. =)

Joey: If the Homo Sapiens were, in fact, Homo Sapiens... is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey. Homo Sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging.

Pachelbel's Canon Rant!

This video is the funniest thing I've seen in ages!!!

It made me laugh so much!!! (Even though it's Monday and cold and raining and everything is rubbish...)

Mooooooooon!

There's a lunar eclipse happening at the moment!

It started when I was out driving earlier this evening, which was a bit dangerous, because I was staring at the moon rather than watching the road.

But it didn't matter too much, because I only ever try to park behind shabby, non-expensive cars...you know.....just in case.

I'd take a picture of it for you (the moon, not my parking), but to be honest, I really can't be bothered. And it doesn't matter, because it's the thought that counts. =)

I don't really have anything to say, other than that.

Except....

OH!

.....

never mind.

I'll tell you later.

Hmmm

Have you ever been to the postsecret blog? It's SO interesting.

Basically, people send in their secrets (anonymously, of course) on a postcard, and then they get scanned in and put on the website.

There aren't that many on the blog, but there is a myspace with more on.

(warning: some of them are funny, but some of them are slightly scary and make you think that the world is full of psychopaths. It probably is full of psychopaths, but even if it is, I'd rather not know...)

Here are some of my favourites: