Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Skinny Water?!?

This is real.

You can actually buy bottles of 'skinny water' on the internet.


The website says it is, 'a no-calorie water, enhanced with a unique combination of ingredients to help people lose and maintain their weight'.
Their clinical studies show an obviously air brushed picture of a woman in a bikini (who is not only skinny, but is also beautiful and has flawless skin), lying on a towel with a bottle of the 'skinny water' next to her. How 'clinical' is it to air brush bodies?
You can buy a pack of 6 bottles for about $40 on the internet.
The company, Jana, claim that after drinking Skinny Water, 'You may notice a "full feeling," less craving for sweets and an increase in energy'. Good old Thames Water does that for me....
OK, so maybe their 'secret ingredient' does actually do something. But most dieticians will tell you that drinking a 500ml glass of tap water 20 mins before a meal will make you feel fuller, and therefore eat less.
I think the main difference between tap water and 'skinny water' is that tap water doesn't cost you $40 for 6 bottles.
And I'd be interested to see the calorific difference between 'skinny water' and tap water.

Marry Me?

What do you think it feels like to be this beautiful?

Do you think he knows how attractive he is?


Probably.


But I'd like to think he is blissfully unaware of it.


For some reason, I find attractive people who have no idea how attractive they are, more attractive.

(I think that makes grammatical sense. Just.)


He's probably arrogant in real life. And one of those 'male divas' who goes into 5 star restaurants and then demands food that isn't on the menu.

He's probably really difficult to live with.

Well, thats what I'm telling myself, to try and soften the blow that I'll never have him.


And it's working.


I know it's a bit of a cliché, but I honestly do believe that personality is more important than looks. I would rather be married to a guy with a great personality who is a bit plain looking, than to a guy who looks amazing (like Josh Hartnett) but is about as deep as a puddle in a parking lot.


And if they have a great personality, they usually end up appearing more physically attractive as well...


Especially if they wear dog tags.

Maybe I should join the army or something.





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Friday, January 26, 2007

I am still alive...

I realise that it has been a while since I last blogged.
So yeah.... this year's resolution appears to be failing as well.

But never mind. We all knew it wouldn't work. And I've made another resolution to 're-organise my life'.

I know that the word 're-organise' implies that my life used to be organised, and in a way, it was. Although my room was a tip, if you managed to clamber over the stuff on the floor to open the wardrobe, all my clothes are arranged according to colour. In rainbow order, no less.
And my books - they are arranged as in a library; fiction, non-fiction, reference, poetry...

So, as I was explaining to Elizabeth, that proves that I can be organised. I just need to channel the organisation vibes in a more useful direction. So Elizabeth has taken on the mammoth task of getting me organised. Starting with my school work.

I started digging in the corner of my room, and found my desk. So my desk is now very tidy, and all the stuff that used to be on the desk is stacked on the floor.
But thats OK. After all, I don't walk on the bit by the window. And I'm planning to move it when I'm next free.


Anyway.....except for being busy keeping up with work, not much interesting has happened...
I'm trying hard to think of something to write about.

I've finished all my exams now. But I don't want to talk about that. They were awful. I don't want the results back. I think I'll just tell my teachers I'll re-sit the modules in June, and leave it at that.

Ummm....................

Oh! I went to Subway the other day, on the way home from work (OK...so I took a big detour), and the Subway Man was there! And he remembered me! =)
But it was quite busy in there, so we didn't have such a meaningful conversation.
Not that the other conversation was all that meaningful.


hmmmm..........

My Mum told me that my stalker approached her in the Waitrose car park and asked if I have a boyfriend.
Apparently she said, 'No. At the moment Anna is wanting to concentrate on her studies.'
I told her she should have said that I have a very butch, jealous boyfriend who is a black belt in karate. You would have thought that my Mum would now start to think that legal action should be taken, but no, she still thinks it is hilarious, and is still refusing to phone the police.
I'm contemplating taking out a restraining order.

And just to clarify, the 'concentrating on work' thing is my excuse for when my Mum's friends ask me why I am still single. I know it's not particularly true that I am concentrating on school work, but every day I plan to start concentrating on it, and one of these days, I will. And thanks to Sarah, it's not strictly true that I don't have a boyfriend. She helped me to make up an imaginary boyfriend. He's called Ben, and is very romantic. He is practically perfect in every way. Like Mary Poppins. (Btw, I've found it's best to try not to think too hard about the psychological implications of having an imaginary boyfriend.)
Anyway, why do my Mum's friends ask me that? It's not like I'm the only single 16 year old in the country. In fact, it's quite common to be 16 and single.

Actually, I'm 17 now.

AND I'VE STARTED DRIVING!

Yeah, Dad put me on the car insurance!

I haven't had any formal lessons yet, but Dad's taken me out a few times.

It's WICKED!

The first time I went out, I stalled quite a lot, and the first time I used the brake was very exciting, because I thought you had to push the brake in as far as the clutch. So it was quite a sudden stop. Not quite sudden enough for the air bags to go off, but it came pretty close....

So apart from that minor incident, I think I'm a natural. I can do 3 point turns, and parallel parking and reverse round a corner and everything.

And I must say, I am very impressed at how much you can see in the rear view mirror. You can see the whole road behind you. It's amazing!

The hardest part about driving is the idiots on the road. I don't know how they passed their tests. It really freaks me out when the car behind drives really close to me. It makes me feel like I have to go faster, but when I go faster, they go faster, and it has a tendancy to spiral out of control when that happens.
My latest technique is to lightly touch the brake pedal - not enough to slow the car, but enough to make the brake lights come on. Then the driver behind freaks out and thinks, 'Oh no! The stupid learner is about to stop in the middle of the road' and they slam on their brakes and allow you to carry on driving without them on your tail. It's quite effective. Unless you do it to the same driver more than about 3 times (sometimes they manage to catch up...).

Another minor incident was when I was driving in the dark, and there were 2 joggers running across the road wearing black. I managed to stop in time though. I always knew there had to be something dangerous about jogging....


Well. I should really get back to my Biology coursework now. I started writing this because I couldn't come up with a way of justifying my choice of filter in the colorimeter. I used the 590nm one because everyone else was using that one, and I thought it would be easier to go along with them. But I can't write that in my coursework.
You don't get marks for living in peace and harmony with other scientists...

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Sunday, January 07, 2007

Driving Videos

It's really frustrating to have my provisional licence and not be able to drive. The licence isn't valid for another 9 days (it feels like YEARS!!!).



So to try and occupy myself until then, I've been watching videos about how to drive, on this website. The videos are unbelievably boring. It's just a man driving a car and telling you how to do everything...



I watched about 15 video clips of him doing stuff like parrallel parking, reversing into a minor road on the left...etc. He keeps on saying 'prepare the car as you would do normally....', but he never once explains how to do that.



What does he mean by preparing the car? Is that just making sure it is switched on, and that you're tuned to the right radio station?!



Anyway, it was getting a bit boring, and I was about to forget about it and move on, but then I saw that the next video was the emergency stopping one.



On my 13th birthday, I'd been beggin my Dad to let me drive the car for ages, so he finally let me have a go (on private land, obviously. My Dad is a very upstanding member of the community. He wouldn't unleash someone like me on the general public. And he wouldn't break the law either.)



I was just driving around in circles, not doing anything too fancy. i was having a great time, but Dad kept telling me to go faster coz he said he was getting bored.



Eventually, he must have got a bit fed up with it, because he told me to try an emergency brake. He said all I had to do was stop the car as quickly as possible.



So, I started driving the car, just in a straight line, but getting faster and faster (and a bigger and bigger adrenaline rush) and then he shouted "STOP!!!!", so I slammed on the brake pedal, and yanked on the hand break as well, and I left some long skid marks on the field. It was really exciting.



Which meant I had high hopes for the next video.



So I clicked on the link, and watched the clip.



The man was pulled over at the side of the road, and then a deep scary voice said, "I'm going to ask you to do an emergency stop. I want you to start the car in the normal way [see? There is is again! The 'normal way'.] and when I say stop, I want you to stop the car as quickly as possible, while maintaining full control of the vehicle".



Maintaining full control of the vehicle.

There goes any chance of having a bit of fun....



Anyway, the car pulled away, and started driving down the road.

I was getting a bit excited, because, you know.... I was anticipating it.... I was waiting for the deep scary voice to shout, and the car to suddenly stop.



After what seemed like ages, the deep scary voice calmly said, "Stop," in the least sudden way I've ever heard anybody ever say it.

And then the person who was driving kept both hands on the steering wheel (apparently that was to 'maintain total control' but it would have stopped faster if he'd used the handbrake as well) and he put his foot on the brake.



That was IT.



I know some people who normally brake the car like that. Even when it's not an emergency. It's slightly less comfortable than braking smoothly, but it's not very exciting.





What a let down.





Still, it's gonna be wicked when I can drive.



I already have L plates.





Maybe I'll go and stick them in the car now. Just so that they are ready.







I'd better not. My Dad still hasn't given me any indication as to whether he is putting me on the insurance.





I told him that if I accidently crash it, it would give him an opportunity to get a better car (our current car is pretty shabby to be honest. And covered in dog hairs).

But he told me that he has only insured it against theft and 3rd party damage.



I don't blame him. It would probably be cheaper to scrap our car and get a new one than it would be to make a claim on the insurance.



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Friday, January 05, 2007

Guess what arrived today?!



Yep, thats right. I can now drive.

(Don't be offended by the censoring.... I just think that you're an obsessive stalker. Which is bad. But I just want to let you know that it doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. There are support groups for people like you. You deserve a second chance.)

(I actually thought about censoring the picture as well, because it's not very flattering, but then it could have been anyones licence... so I left it there. Please, no malicious comments!)

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

Earnest Quotes

I watched the Importance of being Earnest today.
Oscar Wilde is a literary genius.


Gwendolyn: In matters of utmost importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.

Jack: Algy, you're always talking nonsense.
Algy: It's better than listening to it.

Jack: How you can sit there eating muffins when we're in this terrible trouble, I can't make out! It seems to me to be perfectly heartless...
Algy: I can hardly eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them

(After Algy has finished playing the piano)
Algy: Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?
Lane: I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.
Algy: I don't play accurately - any one can play accurately - but I play with wonderful expression.


Jack: You don't think there's any chance of Gwendolyn becoming like her mother in about 150 years, do you Algy?
Algy: My dear fellow, all women become like their mothers, that's their tragedy. No man does, and that's his.

Lady Bracknell: I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delecate, exotic fruit. Touch it, and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did it would prove a serious threat to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grovesnor Square.

Jack: My dear Algy, you talk exactly as if you were a dentist. It is very vulgar to talk like a dentist when one isn't a dentist. It produces a false impression.

Algy: It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.

Gwendolyn: I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

Lady Bracknell: An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant as the case may be.

Lady Bracknell: To speak frankly, I am not in favour of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.

I'm going up in the world!

Guess what everyone?

I now have an official blog!


Don't get me wrong, I will always love this blog. And I will go on writing in this blog.
Because I can write whatever I want here, and it doesn't have to be interesting or grammatically correct.

I am now writing a blog for work. It became official a few days ago.

You can check it out here.

That blog does have to be interesting and grammatically correct. And also vaguely applicable to people of all ages and backgrounds.
So I thought I would begin by writing about politics, current affairs, and parental love and guidance. Which was probably a bad idea, because I now have to think of something better than that for next time.

Any ideas?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Banana Ketchup

I have a Froogle wishlist!!!

I forgot about that!

I can't remember making it.

At first, I thought it couldn't be mine, and there must be someone with the same name as me.

But then I realised that they couldn't have the same e-mail address as me, so it must have been my wishlist from a while ago. (I know.....just call me Sherlock!)

Also, it had the kind of things on it that I would probably put on a wishlist.
Like stripey socks. And a hippy van.
And BANANA KETCHUP!!!!!

I bet you didn't know that existed. (Even if you did, pretend you didn't so that I can feel good about myself.)

And I bet you want to know more about it...so I did a little bit of research for you.

Wikipedia has the following to say about Banana Ketchup (my comments are in red):

"Banana Ketchup is made in the Philippines [but presumably it can be made anywhere that you can get hold of bananas, right?] from bananas [...no kidding...], mashed, with sugar, vinegar, and spices and red food colouring [is that just so that it looks like normal ketchup? coz personally, I think that yellow is a much less aggressive colour, and therefore something that I would feel more comfortable putting on my food. Maybe.]. It was said to have been invented during the Japanese Occupation [so it wasn't actually invented by Filipinos?] of the country, 1942-45, when American-made condiments became virtually impossible to find [Why were the Japanese people looking for American condiments? What?! I'm confused...]. It began to be mass produced in the 1950s and achieved widespread use in the 1970s. [If it's widespread, why isn't it available in Asda? Or Tesco? Or the Indian corner shop where we buy milk? Those places sell EVERYTHING.]"

Hmmmm......

"It is often used as dressing for Filipino fried chicken [Also made in the Philippines, I'll bet...](not breaded) [I'm guessing thats important...] and mixed with local copies of Worcestershire Sauce [Worcestershire is in England. That's not local to the Philippines.]. Banana ketchup is also mixed with mayonnaise to be used as a salad dressing. It is also used as an ingredient in Filipino spaghetti [Spaghetti is Italian. Except for Filipino spaghetti, which is Filipino.], instead of spaghetti sauce. This spaghetti is unique in that it's normally sprinkled with grated cheddar cheese and diced hotdog, vienna sausage, or in some cases, corned beef [It's also unique in that it is Filipino and not Italian]."


Anyway.

Bananas........sugar........ vinegar..........spices.........food colouring........

Those are all household ingredients.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?!



Ready, Steady, COOK!
.......as Ainsley would say.

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Revision doesn't work.

Right.

OK.

I'm fed up.

I'm going to prove to you that revision doesn't work for everyone, and that I am one of the people it doesn't work for.

I am revising now, and I am going to give you a blow by blow account of everything that happens. Along with the time it happens at.

OK?
Ready?
The time is 4:11.
Let's start.

4:11: I'm reading about the Miller's Tale on Wikipedia.

4:15: Well....that was quick. I've found a critic now, so I'm reading that...

4:17: You know what? I really hope the exam question is on the description of Alison, coz I'm really good at that bit. Mainly because it's the easiest, and most interesting bit. Anyway. Back to work.

4:18: Actually, I think I'll research the Knight's Tale, because although thats not what the exam is on, it would be good if I could compare the 2 Tales.

4:20: I'm listening to some rubbish music at the moment. I need to quickly make a playlist. It won't take long...

4:24: The Beatles would probably be a good thing to listen to, because they are considered a classic now, like the Canterbury Tales, and they are mostly dead, like Chaucer (who is, in fact, totally dead).

4:25: I just learnt a new word. 'Servility'. It means 'abject or cringing submissiveness', and is apparently a quality that the perfect Medieval woman had. That is nothing like Alison. Thats good. I can talk about it in the exam. As long as the question is about Alison....

4:28: I reeeeeeeeally hope the question is about Alison. Theres only about 4 characters that the question can be on. So theres like, a 25% chance it will be about her. Unless they ask questions about Chaucer. Or life in 13th Century Britain. Honestly, thats so stupid. If I wanted to learn about 13th Century Britain I would have picked History instead of English Lit.
Anyway. Back to work.

4:31: I need a drink.

4:36: I'm back. But it can't possibly have taken me 5 mins to get a drink. Thats ridiculous. Maybe I need to start walking faster.

4:38: Wow. The Canterbury Tales were banned in a school in the USA for being 'too lewd'. That was in 1995. It must have been in one of those Puritan or Amish settlement places they have, because I like to think that the average Briton is less crude than the average Yankee.

4:41: Hahaha.... Geoffrey Chaucer's dad was kidnapped by his aunt when he was 12, because she wanted to force him to marry her daughter so that they could cheat the law and keep a property somewhere. Talk about having a dysfunctional family. No wonder Geoff ended up writing slightly rude stories when he grew up. Freak. Do you think he'd mind people calling him Geoff? Is that like calling Shakespeare 'Will'?

4:43: Or 'Willy'! Hahaha..... *ahem*

4:44: My toes are cold.

4:45: Chaucer wrote in continental accentual-syllabic metre. Whatever that is.

4:47: Ooooookay. This is getting really boring. I'll revise Biology instead.

4:48: 'Theres nothing you can do that can't be done, nothing you can sing that can't be sung....'
Why does this song start with the French national anthem? Is it a subliminal message, trying to make us love french people or something?

4:50: Hey......I just invented my first conspiracy theory without even realising it!

4:51: Is it morally wrong to make up conspiracy theories about songs written by people who are now dead, and unable to defend themselves?

4:52: Well....Paul McCartney can defend it. He helped write it.

4:54: Maybe I should keep my conspiracy theory to myself. It wouldn't be fair to Paul. He's trying to get over the break up of his marriage. It would be insensitive of me to shove him back into the public eye when he is already feeling vulnerable and used.

4:55: And tbh, I'm probably not the first person to have thought about the subliminal message thing.... Irritatingly, all of my greatest thoughts have already been thought of by someone else.

4:58: The AS Guru website has animations of how molecules join together to make bigger molecules! Thats exciting!

5:10: It's quite therapeutic to watch polypeptides forming. Like watching tropical fish or something.... The two amino acids move closer together, and then the water molecule slides out so gracefully........and then, POW, the amino acids join up and form a dipeptide. And then another amino acid comes along, moves up close, another water molecule slides out, and, POW, they bond, and it becomes a polypeptide.... and then another amino acid comes, and.... anyway....you get the idea....

5:11: Did I really just spend 13 mins staring at a simulation of polypeptides forming?!?!?!?!?
That is NOT time efficient. I better remember it after all that time spent watching it.

5:12: It is quite mesmerising though.....


I HAVE BEEN REVISING FOR AN HOUR, AND THE ONLY USEFUL THING I HAVE LEARNT IS THE MEANING OF 'SERVILITY'.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN NOW, WHEN I SAY THAT REVISION DOESN'T WORK FOR ME?????

I could have put the time to better use, and be over half way through watching A Cinderella Story. That is an hour of my life that has been wasted, and I will never get it back.

Thats so depressing.

'Yesterdaaaaaaay.........all my troubles seemed so far awaaaaaaay.......Now it seems like they are heeeere to staaaaaaaay..........ohhhh, I believ....in yesterdaaaaaaay............'

I'm going to cheer myself up now.



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Monday, January 01, 2007

New Laws.... =)

The Government is raising the minimum age for buying cigarettes.

It's been a while since a new law has come out that actually has the potential to oppress me in some way.

But you know what? I don't feel oppressed. Nevertheless, I still feel I have some right to make my voice my opinion on this new initiative.

I think it's an excellent idea. To be perfectly honest, I'm not convinced that it will make a huge amount of difference, but I still think it's a good idea.

My classmates have been able to obtain cigarettes for years now; and technically they should only have been able to buy them for about a year.

Based on my personal experience, since I am too lazy to do any official research on the matter, most of my friends who currently smoke started before they were 16 anyway. And although they are still 16/17, I think they will still be smoking when the new law comes into effect in October. They'll get hold of their fags somehow. They managed it before, and they'll manage it again. After all, they are older now, and in theory, more intelligent and more capable of fooling whoever is manning the till at the local off licence/petrol station.

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The first day of the rest of my life...

Here are some photos from the fireworks in London last night.

I didn't take them myself. My photos were rubbish, and I haven't got them off the camera yet...


It was really crowded, but we managed to get quite a good spot. We were on the road right in front of the houses of parliament. So we were standing at the foot of Big Ben, with a good view of the London Eye on the other side of the river.

I don't know where The Feeling were playing...it would have been nice to have been able to watch them live, but there were big screens put up in the road, so we watched them playing there. A surprisingly small number of people were singing along. (I probably don't even need to specify that i was one of the people singing, but I'll say it anyway! =D )


This is the first year that I've been to Westminster for the fireworks, but I think I'll probably go along next year. It was really good fun. But I think next year I will take public transport. On the way back, the traffic was really bad, and it took us ages to get out of the centre. (It also took us ages to find a parking space to begin with... and we were there at 10:30. So everyone else must have arrived really early...).

Today I decided to get some work done, but I knew that the odds of me staying focussed at home were not good at all... so I decided to go to Costa, because it's not too far, and I thought it would be nice and quiet since it's new year. I had assumed that most people would be sleeping off their hang overs. I got up at about 11:30 (not bad...! I've been very disciplined so far this year.) so I was there by about 12:30. It wasn't too busy when I got there, so I sat down at the back and started writing notes on The Miller's Tale. It wasn't as boring as I thought it would be. I have a growing appreciation for Chaucer. To begin with I thought he was a semi-illiterate idiot trying to be funny. Now that I have got my head around his weird spelling and (imo) made up words, I actually think he was quite good.

I'm sure that a modern equivalent of what he did with the Canterbury Tales, or even just what he did with the Miller's Tale - a kind of parody of a popular plot, would be a best seller now.


Anyway - thats going to be one of my New Years Resolutions (I've decided to make lots of them, because then it's more likely that I will stick to at least one of them...). I'm going to read more.
I've actually started doing that already. A few weeks ago I went out and got some books that I've been wanting to read for ages, but never bothered to get hold of them.
I'm a few chapters into The Da Vinci Code, but I don't know whether I'll finish it. I read Digital Fortress (also by Dan Brown) a few months ago, and it was really good, but all his books are really fat, and I don't know if I have the stamina and determination to get through a fat book at the moment. I have a lot of stuff I need to read (and do) for school, so a fat book will only get in the way of that.

I'm about a third of the way through reading 'A Walk to Remember' by Nicholas Sharp (It cost 1p from Amazon! That didn't include the postage, but I still think thats pretty good!).
The film (same title) was based on the book, and it's one of my favourite films! Except, I don't watch it very much coz it makes my eyes hurt from crying so much... But anyway, the book is really good so far. It's different from the film, but it's not a 'bad different'. I don't think it's necessarily a 'good different' though. So far, it's just a 'different different'.

I've also read the first chapter of a book called 'The Alliance' which I got for Christmas. I'm not totally sure what it's about yet, but it seems pretty good.

I got a book of poetry out of the library, called 'The Nation's Favourite Love Poems' or something like that, and there were several poems by Wendy Cope. I hadn't heard of her before, but when I was out getting The Da Vinci Code, I saw a book of poems by her, so I got that as well. She's really good.

And (don't worry, this is the last one now), I'm also reading Four Quartets by T S Eliot. Actually, it's more like attempting to read at the moment. I only got it coz I thought it would be good for me... Kinda like eating vegetables. It's not that fun at the time, but you reap the benefits later. And in some cases, you even start to enjoy eating the vegetables.
It's good writing, but you have to concentrate really hard when you read it, and since I'm on holiday, I've put him on hold for the moment.
I understood him enough to realise that one of Wendy Cope's poems is a parody of his Four Quartets.

Oh.....I also bought a copy of The Times on Saturday night. I wanted to read about Saddam Hussein's execution... (my motives weren't as morbid as they sound....I promise.).
The Times is quite good actually, it's not as boring as everyone says, so I think I might read it more often. It's probably easier with a dictionary on hand, but I don't really use them because I'm rubbish at getting my alphabet in the right order, so it takes ages.

So, I might not end the year fit and healthy, or with a livelier blog, but at least I'll end it well versed and up to date with current affairs (hopefully...).

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